I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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