Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
