Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
