I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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