I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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