Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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