hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
