I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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