I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
