i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
