it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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