he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
