Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
