Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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