I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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