Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
