Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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