I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
