ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I checked into jail on foursquare
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
