; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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