i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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