Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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