Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
