i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
