I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
