I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize