I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think my vagina is haunted
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
