A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Four minutes until I can fart!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
