Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What a dumb baby whore.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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