Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
