I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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