They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
