I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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