I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize