Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
