How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
