I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize