Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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