My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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