Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
