I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
