We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
