Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
