i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
