three words: i give head
three words: not that well
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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