I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My vagina just clenched in fear
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