my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
