I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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