batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
