thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
