Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
