Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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