just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
