They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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