dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
