i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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