why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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