If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
