My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
