I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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