I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize