Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
