should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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