TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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